World's Largest Insect

Dirty whitecoat SPIES knocking,

Disguised as delivery boys

They look like tax officials but I can see into their eyes –

I know a minion when I see one:

They think I’ve gone soft, they’re listening in

And they have NO idea.

My floor is scattered with empty envelopes

Little sardine tins. Toothpaste tubes. Glass shards for just-in-case

Military rations that’s why I built this bunker in the first place!

I’ve named the spiders who live here

After US presidents, what a patriot I am

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Their necktie-nooses FILTHY with soot

From so many coal-fires and orchestrated impacts

They’re from HELL I smell brimstone

In my coffee grounds, ash onto the floor

It smells like they’re trying to trap me I can feel it 

Industrial manufacture incomplete technology blueprints,

That MUST be what they’re after

Suffering from intense early bombardment, 

THE KEY IS BURIED IN MY BRAIN

I can see their hands on the windowsill

Periphery lurkers, I’ve sharpened my teeth just in case

I keep writing congress these little

Thank you letters tied neat with sinews –

Prayer scrolls in hyper-velocity

NEW PEOPLE NOT LIKE THE OLD PEOPLE

WATCH OUT 

They’re not allowing me in airports or bus terminals anymore,

Every time I get into a car the engine catches FIRE

The creatures are on vacation,

I’ll be there when they get back!

Artificially generated nuclear explosions –

Just beyond the tip of this pen!

What a goddamned tool! What the fuck is a printing press!

I write modification and collapse

There’s a finger trap in this rotary phone, JUST as they want!

I really think they might break the door down soon,

I think I should put on a pot of coffee or something

FULL OF ARSENIC, AH-HA!

Probably tired from late-night watch

Journal Entry dated July of 1987,

Postage costs are increasing 

Because they think I can’t afford it

Because they are looking in my window and

They see my tin cups overflowing with coins

All this money is going to crystalize

From shock impact –

That’s what they want! It’s all part of the plan!

I’ll be worthless and buried in this tomb of low frequency radiation!

SEND MONEY OR SUPPLIES TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS 

Overthrowing the state is a passionate love affair

And one day I’ll love so hard

The “moon” will come unglued, and

On that day, we will all be free!

On that day, every eye will open!

DON’T LET THEM IN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING!

-Francis E Dec was a lawyer residing in New York who, following a brief tour of duty as an air force private, published a series of hand-made leaflets which garnered attention for their incoherence and irreverence. In these materials, he detailed a global conspiracy involving a communist plot to brainwash the world’s population through radio controls, operated by a “computer brain” hidden on the moon. Interestingly, Dec died at age 70 – odd, given that he claimed that one of the goals of this conspiracy was to render everyone in the world either dead or useless by that age exactly.